The secret to having a successful relationship is something that people make millions revealing to the general public every year. There are books geared to teens, women and men, but they are all based on a faulty foundation. How are you supposed to build a healthy relationship by not being yourself?

Not all dating books are created equal. I am sure there are some out there that have good advice, but in general, they are telling you to be someone you arent. The first piece of advice they give you is to act interested in what they are into. Well, that is great, but if you arent into football or pottery, that is going to make a very bad relationship. In 50 years after sitting through countless games, are you going to tell them the truth? If you are interested in what they are, then you know that you have something in common beyond looks and chemical attraction. It is better to build a relationship on that.

They also tell you to play dating games. Dont call on the third Tuesday of any month that has a Y in the name. Sure, you shouldnt stalk the person, and you shouldnt avoid them. Had it ever dawned on these experts that the person on the other end might be dying to talk to you? Most people I know who have successful relationships talked on the phone together for hours at the start of it. There is an honesty that comes through when you cant see each other. Why do you think the internet has people spilling their dirty little secrets? Once we are honest with each other, and stop playing games is when we can move into a relationship.

The no games policy also includes after youve been together for a while. If you want something, then you need to ask for it. If you dont want something then you need to speak up. Even after decades of being together, your partner isnt a mind reader. So, be yourself and stop playing mind games. You shouldnt have to manipulate people into loving you.

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